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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27489883">roses making it hard for me to breathe on a bad day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Lemxnbxy'>Lemxnbxy (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, I cried writing this, M/M, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:21:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,050</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27489883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Lemxnbxy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi begins to cough up petals.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>roses making it hard for me to breathe on a bad day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yamaguchi barely left the classroom and started coughing.</p><p>Struggling for breath between coughing, he rummages in his purse and pulls out a tissue to catch the germs.<br/>
what was that? an illness? Where does this disease come from? I would understand if it is in the winter season, but it is not.</p><p>Yamaguchi entered the gym, he was somewhat weak, he felt like he was going to faint. "Yamaguchi, are you feeling okay? If you want I can drop you off at the infirmary ..." Worried, Sugawara tried to take him away.<br/>
Receiving an "I'm fine" from him. It was really okay, he didn't need anyone.<br/>
"You're not, you'd better go to the infirmary, even if you don't want to ... if you feel more comfortable you can go alone." Says sugawara, slowly leaving to scold Nishinoya who is laughing with Tanaka.</p><p>Yamaguchi finishes cleaning himself and shoves the worrying bloodstained handkerchief into his purse, ready to be washed when he gets the chance, maybe in a week, or maybe. Coughing lightly, and about to head to the infirmary, he sees Tsukishima bumping into Kageyama.</p><p>"They must be having fun ...".<br/>
You feel your chest tighten and something begins to form inside your throat, it really hurts, too much. Trying to overlook the fact that he is literally choking on something, he quickly rushes back to his classroom. He can't make it to the infirmary before collapsing on the floor and coughing uncontrollably. The lack of oxygen reaching his head turns him gray as he fidgets like a cat coughing up a fur ball. With a final, excruciatingly painful cough, the source of the problem flies out of his mouth and falls to the ground.<br/>
Panting, Yamaguchi wipes his mouth and is shocked by the amount of blood he sees.</p><p>Looking down at the ground, see 5 golden petals covered in blood.<br/>
Determined to go to the infirmary.</p><p>***</p><p>"What else could make me cough up petals like this?" asked Sugawara</p><p>"Does Yamaguchi love someone who doesn't? Is that possible?" asked another voice, coming from Yachi</p><p>"He told me he was fine, but you could tell he needed help, I regret not having done something." ─ Sugawara spoke again.</p><p>"Don't push yourself, you know it's not your fault. Although I feel sorry for Yamaguchi, tomorrow will be his birthday ..." said daichi, while giving sugawara a little pat on the back.</p><p>"Tomorrow is your birthday? Poor yams ..." yachi said sadly.</p><p>"PFF, HE IS SUPER STRONG! I don't think he's that" Hanahaki "thing." Tanaka chimed in.</p><p>"Tanaka, this is serious. If we don't deal with this quickly I might die ..." Asahi added.</p><p>"Asahi-san, are you really ... going to die?" Nishinoya asked with concern.</p><p>"Let's hope not ... who could be the one to provoke" Hanahaki "to Yamaguchi?" Hinata jumped into the conversation, being worried like everyone else.</p><p>"Mmm, Tsukishima? He's your best friend ..." Kiyoko came out after Hinata, while talking about Tsukishima. "What I'm saying is, Tsukishima doesn't treat her very well, sometimes she shuts her up ... and Yamaguchi still considers her a friend ...". "</p><p>"Tsukishima kei ... I hope it solves it ..." Sugawara left the room.</p><p>Yamaguchi slips in and out of consciousness as voices float through his mind. He can make out Tanaka's harsh tones and Suagawara's worried voice. He lets himself relax on the bed he's in, grateful to be able to breathe again. However, your throat feels like someone has shoved sandpaper into it and worn it away. I feel like his lungs are going to explode.</p><p>"w-water ... I-need water!" he spoke, with everything he had. Nobody listens to it. He raises his head and sees a glass of water on the table, he quickly grabbed it and in seconds there was nothing, the cup was empty, and he kept asking for more. He drank like 4 glasses of water, getting completely satiated, or so he thought, it still hurt, but it was controllable. you begin to feel normal enough to be able to open your eyes and examine your surroundings. He is in the infirmary, with his colleagues watching him. How did everything happen so fast? I was alone recently.</p><p>"Oh thank God," Yachi speaks, his voice cracking. She has been crying, judging by her bright red eyes and the tears that are running down her face. "You really have us worried, Yams.</p><p>Yamaguchi tries to sit up on the bed, but is pushed down by several pairs of hands. "I feel good, really. Just a bad cold, that's all."</p><p>Nishinoya grabs him by the collar of his shirt and gives him a firm shake. "When did this happen ?! How could you not tell us you suffered from this disease Yamaguchi? We are your friends, we care about you!" Angry tears begin to fall from his eyes, which he wipes with his sleeve. "Why didn't you say you had Hanahaki?" Asahi asked, while calming Nishinoya.</p><p>"Hana -... Excuse me? What is Hanahaki? I promise you, I feel so much better." Yamaguchi gets up on the bed, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his chest "What is this about?"</p><p>"Hanahaki's disease ... is something that not many people know about." "Sugawara perches on the edge of her bed, her hands resting on her lap. There are only a few recorded cases, and no one seems to know where she comes from, except when there is unrequited love. She makes the victim cough up flower petals, which increases in severity the longer it is left without treatment. "</p><p><br/>
"There are only two known cures." Yachi grabs Yamaguchi's hand. "Having the love returned, or the root of the problem removed. Love may be of a genuine romantic nature, or it will not work. As for the surgery ... It will cause the patient to lose all feelings towards the person they love, and in the worst case, he will forget about them. It's like losing his memory. "</p><p>Yamaguchi falls back onto the pillow, feeling dizzy and dazed from the sudden information. "So ... There is a flower growing inside me, and it will kill me unless the person I love loves me back." He lets out a bitter laugh. "I don't even know who he is supposed to be."</p><p>"Well neither do we ... haha When did this start?" Kiyoko pats Yamaguchi on the arm. "If it's in the early stages, we can fix it before it gets worse."</p><p><br/>
"This afternoon, I think. I left class and started coughing up the petals ... I thought I was choking on some weeds." Yamaguchi jokes, and laughs, but it is an empty laugh, an emotionless laugh. "I didn't think I was really dying."</p><p>"I have an idea," Hinata commented "take note of what happened before each attack. Where were you, what were you doing, who were you talking to, things like that."</p><p>"Hmm, that's a good idea, I guess I'll try."</p><p>***</p><p>After a week since the initial attack went smoothly, without further incident, Yamaguchi begins to wonder if it had all been a false alarm and he was really choking on some weeds. During a home meeting to discuss next month's homework, he struggles not to focus on having everyone watch him closely, ready to take notes the second a missing petal appears. He's about to overlook everyone's concern as unjustified when he finds himself bending over the teacher's desk. Someone is slapping him on the back to aid the process as some petals work their way up his throat. It wrinkles when the first bud of petals leaves its mouth, the same bright yellow with bloodstains as before. Barely having enough time to fully process them, he choked off another bite of the same damn petals. Spreading over the top of the desk, take a deep breath as you wait for the nausea to pass. His classmates' screams seem far away, even though he can see Hinata's face right in front of his.</p><p>"I'm dying."</p><p>"I'm dying of a flower growing in my lungs. Hah, how stupid of me ... to die for that ..."</p><p>Time seems to go agonizingly slow before it feels like it's back to normal. Leaning on Yachi for support, he can only shake his head at his questions about the origin of the attack.</p><p>The fresh air feels good in his lungs after nearly drowning, so he asks to sit on a bench for a few minutes until the aftermath has cleared up completely. As his classmates talk to each other in a low voice, Yamaguchi sees Tsukishima pushing Kageyama to the ground, while laughing at him ... his beautiful laugh filling his ears.<br/>
As Yamaguchi watches, a pile of petals threatens to burst again, but forces them to retreat with great difficulty. Tsukishima sees him sitting on the bench and looks at him, raising his hand in greeting. Upon seeing it, a single petal escapes from Yamaguchi's mouth.</p><p>Tsukishima? Oh gods. It can't be him, can it?</p><p>Still holding the blooming flower inside his lungs, Yamaguchi stands up and runs towards the wall that leads to a cliff. He leans over the wall and opens his mouth, watching more lost petals fall into the ravine below. Reaching inside with two fingers, he pulls out four more petals, each more stained with blood than the last. Now just think about how so many petals appeared. He had been admiring how good it looked in the summer sun. And now, right after admiring Tsukishima "hugging Kageyama", more petals formed on his throat.</p><p>A horrible realization hit him in the chest.</p><p>
  <em>Is he.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He can't love me back.</em>
</p><p>*** </p><p>Yamaguchi's condition worsens after that fateful day. Instead of spending a week between coughing spells, you have days and then hours. His strength is diminished as the disease takes over completely, with all his energy spent coughing up more and more petals. He stays in bed, he is forbidden to leave his room at all costs. Regular meals are brought to your room, along with any reading materials you need to catch up on your work. Not that you have many opportunities to do your homework. Every time you wake up with more flowers in your lungs. And yet, despite everything, he cannot clarify who he loves tell me who you love, please! , he doesn't want to put the burden of forced love on the boy he likes. God, please take me!</p><p><br/>
He could only think of Tsukishima.</p><p>He remembers that Yachi told him that love had to be genuine and that trying to force it would not work at all. The last thing he wants is for Tsukishima to be forced to love him, and then be overcome with guilt when he dies. And he can't get the feelings cut as he doesn't want to forget Tsukishima and how he lights up his life. He would rather die than forget about Tsukishima, the person he loves the most, the person who has been for him, and even if he is serious ... he knows he loves him, or so he wants to believe.</p><p><br/>
I still want to see him one last time before I die.</p><p><br/>
"Yachi, I ... Look for Tsuki for me. I need to see him," Yamaguchi whispers, his throat incredibly raw. "Please, before it's too late."</p><p><br/>
"o-of course." walks away quickly before I can start crying. Yamaguchi's slow and inevitable disappearance has deeply affected everyone at the school, especially his friends.</p><p>As soon as the door to his room is closed, Yamaguchi leans over the edge of the bed and starts coughing. He expects a few more petals to come out, but they seem stubbornly lodged in his throat. He throws some more, trying to dislodge them, even going so far as to shove his fingers down his throat to force himself to vomit, but nothing happens. Even though he thinks he's about to throw up. Panic settled completely, Yamaguchi falls off the bed and gasps loudly for air as he slaps his chest in an attempt to clear his throat. He begins to pass out as he chokes, silently praying for God to take him before the pain worsens.</p><p>Why are you doing this to me, God? Just take me with you ... don't make me suffer like that.</p><p>A hard slap on the back manages to dislodge whatever was killing him, and he flies out of his mouth and falls to the ground in a pile of blood. To his horror, the petals have been upgraded to a bloody flower, with more on the way. Her mysterious savior alternates between firm patting on the back and relaxing massages until all the flowers have been reared. Now his lungs hurt ... When Yamaguchi has finished, there is a whole bunch of daffodils on the ground. Short in the air, he falls backwards into the arms of the person who has brought him a little longer before his passing.</p><p>"Yamaguchi ..."</p><p><br/>
Yamaguchu shifts his gaze from the bloodstained flowers to Tsukishima. Now she is crying as she holds Kiibo close and rocks him from side to side.</p><p>"Who did this to you? Who was the asshole who wouldn't reciprocate your feelings? How could someone not love someone like you?" He rubbed a hand up and down Yamaguchu's back. "You are kind to everyone you meet, you help those in need and you don't even ask for anything in return. It's hard to believe that someone doesn't love you in some way." Keep talking.</p><p>Hearing Tsukishima ramble, Yamaguchi feels his chest become a little lighter. He feels that all his pain is about to disappear. Not completely clear, but certainly better than it has felt in the last month or so. Feeling brave, or perhaps dizzy from the recent coughing fit, he raises a hand to stroke Tsukishima's cheek. "Tsuki ... do you love me?"</p><p>"... Of course I do." He pulls Yamaguchi harder, resting their heads together. "I swear whoever did this to you is going to pay."</p><p>Feeling the pain begin to subside, Yamaguchu lets himself be enveloped in Tsukishima's embrace. He coughs up some lost petals. but they pale in comparison to the mass of flowers that came before. Feeling tired and exhausted, he closes his eyes and falls asleep, a warm sensation spreading from his heart.</p><p>***</p><p>Yamaguchi wakes up to a bright ray of sunlight shining through his window. Thinking of how there are worse days to die, close your eyes again and wait for the flowers to fill your lungs. Instead, when he manages to take a deep breath and not choke, he frowns. As you open your eyes and bring your hand to your chest ... you can breathe normally you realize that, somehow, you have healed.</p><p>There are no more flowers growing inside him, no more petals flowing from his mouth, no more flowers threatening to kill him. The bloody bouquet that almost finished it has been cleaned, along with the piles of bloodstained tissues. Everything is as it was before he fell ill.</p><p>He stands up, swaying slightly from being bedridden for weeks. A quick look in the mirror shows how close he came to dying. His skin, normally pale with a hint of tan, is sickly gray. Due to his lack of appetite, he has lost a lot of weight and his body looks and feels haggard. His hair desperately needs a wash, and there are deep bags under his eyes.</p><p>But he is alive.</p><p>Looking once more into his room, which still smells of blood and death, he notices a figure fast asleep at his desk, his head resting on his arms. Kneeling down to take a closer look, Kiibo's heart swells when he recognizes Rantaro. He gently shakes it, trying not to fall further in love with the confusing noise Rantaro makes as he wipes the sleepy dust from his eyes and yawns.</p><p>'' Hmm? What's wrong, I ... Yamaguchi? Are you ... are you okay? '' he says in a low voice, lowering his hand to the aforementioned face. ''Are you alive?''</p><p><br/>
Yamaguchi nods, running a hand over Tsukishima's incredibly messy headboard.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
<em>Gods, it looks so cute first thing in the morning.</em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
'' Thanks to you, I am, haha. '' He says, wondering what is the best way to confess. A dramatic kiss on the lips? Not soon. A kiss on the forehead? Hmm can be. But still a little ahead. At the end, lift Tsukishima's hand and press a soft kiss on him. It seems like everything you said last night has worked.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
Tsukishima seems to short-circuit while looking at the hand that Yamaguchi has kissed. He stutters a bit before clearing his throat and trying to regain his composure.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
''I? Was it me all the time? Oh silly. '' Tsukishima lightly punches Yamaguchi on the back, no real malice behind the blow, he didn't want to hurt him. ''Why did you not tell me? Why let it get to the stage where you were about to die before doing something? ''</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
Yamaguchi shyly looks away, a blush creeping across his face. '' I didn't think you reciprocated my feelings. I ... didn't want you to feel the burden of pretending to love me in an attempt to heal me, and then feeling guilty when I died anyway. I didn't want you to pretend to be in love with me ... I wanted it to be a ... true love. ''</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
'' You are so selfless, almost to blame. "Tsukishima slides off the chair, falls to his knees and clasps his hands." If you had told me, or someone, you would hardly have died. I admit it, I was scared that you would die when I got to your room and saw you drowning. Your face was blue ... And when I saw the daffodils, I knew you didn't have much time. When you fell asleep, I stayed with you for as long as I could, ready to help you when the next attack happened. ”He leans forward and rests his head against Yamaguchi's shoulder. When it wasn't, I thought someone had finally come to their senses and reciprocated your love. I guess it was us the whole time. ''</p><p><br/>
Yamaguchi lets go of Tsukishima's hands and hugs him, making the most of his clean lungs. He looks at the sun shining through the window, his heart filled with love for the child in his arms.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
"Right ... sorry I'm late but ... happy birthday, Yamaguchi Tadashi." Gently plant a kiss on the side of his head.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's a hanahaki story that I've already been writing, but I didn't know which couple to put, so, taking advantage of the fact that it's Yamaguchi's birthday ... I decided to put tsukiyama</p></blockquote></div></div>
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